Return of the Homonculi
by ObsessiveFanNumber1
Summary: It was an innocent stroll with Lan Fan until he heard the familiar voice in his mind.  "Guess who's back, prince boy."  "H-how could—?"  LingFan & slight AlMei.  Post-FMAB/manga.  Please read & review. T for Greed, future violence/language, & my paranoia.
1. Guess who's back!

**Hey, readers! This is my first "Fullmetal Alchemist" story, so most people probably don't know my writing that well (unless, of course, you're reading this from also reading all my Bakugan, Pokemon, G.I. Joe, or ****Maximum Ride****), so welcome! (If you've read my other stories, then welcome back!) This is set post-Brotherhood/manga (and I know, the homonculus are supposed to be dead – all will be explained eventually), so it goes with Arakawa-sensei's storyline, character design, etc. I do use several Japanese honorifics in this story. There will be LingXLan Fan in this story (kinda has to be, since Ling is a main character and it's an awesome pairing anyway).  
Disclaimer: I don't own "Fullmetal Alchemist". If I did, Ed would be a midget forever :D. (By the way, Ed isn't in much – maybe not at all; I haven't decided if he will come in or not.) Now onto the story!**

* * *

Ling and Lan Fan were walking through the garden. The prince's hands were in his pockets, and he was smiling at Lan Fan, nodding every now and then as she talked. He had asked her to tell him about her training, saying he knew "how the training works, but not from a first-hand perspective", and had suggested a stroll while they talked. Okay, maybe it wasn't the best way to approach a first date, but it worked well enough. Still, he'd caught himself earlier wishing for the professional's advice. Ling smiled the same way he had then; he knew _exactly_ what that advice would lead to. He wouldn't do that to Lan Fan. But he would and did reach out and take the hand she wasn't gesturing with and squeeze it. Lan Fan smiled, squeezed his hand back, and kept talking and gesturing with her free automail hand.

Ling had heard in many fairy tales that you felt a spark when you touched the one you were in love with. But the jolt he felt was in the back of his mind, and it hurt. He winced before he realized what he was doing. Thankfully, Lan Fan assumed his wince was in sympathy with the rigorous training for the highest level of combat that she was describing now. Ling tried to ignore the pain and kept listening to Lan Fan, doing his best not to grimace when the pain continued to grow. It felt like someone was trying to pressure his mind back so his body would be shared.

_Shared...? Oh no..._ That was impossible, though! The only ones who could be responsible for something like that were homonculi, and all of them were dead. The professional _had_ been the last to go, but all of the homonculi were dead. If they weren't, then Ling would still be sharing his body with the professional, and he knew _that_ wasn't happening...

"You're saying?"

Ling instantly pulled back out of surprise. Concerned, Lan Fan stopped and looked at him. "Is everything alright, Ling-sama?" she said.

"Y-yes, I'm fine." Ling quickly shook his head and smiled reassuringly at her. "Something distracted me for a moment, that's all." Lan Fan raised her eyebrows at him; she didn't even pretend to believe it, but nonetheless, she continued talking. Now she was on her guard, though, the one thing Ling had wanted to not happen.

"You still have the same woman? Have to applaud you on dedication, I guess."

Ling managed not to tense this time, but it took a huge amount of effort. He tried to pass it off as his imagination—

"Ha! You humans never change. Guess who's back, prince boy."

"H-how could—" Ling muttered unintentionally, touching his forehead. It should've been impossible!

"Ling-sama!" Lan Fan cried when he dropped to the ground with a shout of pain that he tried to strangle with no luck.

"Sorry about this part, but I can't do a thing about it either."

Ling saw that face in his mind and Lan Fan's face with his eyes before he passed out.

When he woke hours later, it wasn't Ling.

* * *

***ominous music* Anybody know who it is? ...Anybody **_**not**_** know who it is? Technically, I haven't finished reading the series, but my sister has, and she's my fact-checker so hopefully I won't get anything (or too much) wrong, but if I do, please let me know (in a nice way). Sorry it was such a short chapter, but I wanted to end at a kinda cliffhanger. This is my first "Fullmetal Alchemist" story, remember, so please be kind. And please review and let me know what you think!**


	2. Same as ever

**Thanks to:**_  
Where The Crimson Wind Blows_ – Thanks! I agree; LingFan is so underappreciated, and it's my favorite pairing, so there's no possible way I could have my first FMA fic not have it! And it's only made better with Greed being my favorite homonculi, so it's gotta be those three! Thanks a lot!_  
xxPenAndRosesxx_ – Greed is pure awesome, so wanting fanfics about him is totally understandable! And him and Ling have such a complex friendship (not romance – blech, no, it has to be LingFan forever!) that it's a lot more interesting when it's both of them. Thanks a lot! I try :D. You never know, 3 might happen...you'll have to keep reading to find out! XD I don't know if the ending will come so soon...this one might go a while!

**Yup, I've decided that for this fic at least, I want to thank my reviewers specially (and who knows, I might start doing it in my other fics, too). So thanks, you guys! Here's chapter 2!**

* * *

"Tck!" Greed flinched when his fingers brushed against the back of his head. "D*mn that hurt," he muttered, talking about the bump there, as he sat up. "You really know how to knock yourself out, huh, prince boy?"

"Greed!" That was Ling, in his mind. The prince sounded surprised and...

"Whoa now. Don't tell me you're _relieved_ I'm back." Greed stopped rubbing the tender bump that had formed on the back of his head, surprised. Sure he and the prince were shaky friends, but still... He blew it off and got to his feet. He hadn't been expecting this at all.

"I thought you were dead, though."

"I know; so did I." Greed slid his hands into his pockets and watched out the window. He was in the medical bay, courtesy of Ling's woman he assumed. He laughed, part from his luck, part because of how unreal this whole mess was. "Guess not. I don't know about you, but I'm glad for it. After all, what good is tracking down immortality if you're already dead?" He walked over to the window and pressed his hand against the glass. "So how are the kid and the armor?"

"Ed and Al are out exploring the countries on their own. Ed went west, while Al came east to Xing. He's with May now." Ling paused for a moment. "Al has his real body back, you know. And Ed got back his arm."

"So Alphonse isn't in the armor anymore..." The idea of having a host with an immortal body still sorely tempted Greed. Then again, what _didn't_? "And I suppose Ed is the same idiot as before."

Ling laughed. "You're still the same as ever, too." He definitely sounded glad. "It's been four years, and you're still the same as ever."

Greed shrugged, not bothered at all. "I'm just surprised you haven't started hammering me for answers yet."

"Well..." Ling turned more serious.

"No, I don't know how I'm back, and no, I don't know _why_ I'm back," Greed said before he could say any more. "So don't bother asking me either of those."

Ling rolled his eyes. "Why tell me to ask when you don't know?"

"I didn't tell you to ask me. I said I was surprised you _hadn't_ yet. But unfortunately, we're both confused by it." Greed leaned back against the wall next to the window. He toyed with the idea of sneaking out it to avoid going through the prince's guards. "By the way, that hurt both of us, but sorry anyways."

"Don't worry about it."

"If that's the case, then I take back the apology," Greed said with a grin. Ling smacked himself on the forehead. "Relax, I'm kidding. And it's _not_ a lie, because I would take back the apology if that _was_ the case. The 'if' makes it true." He knew that Ling would've asked. Greed decided after a moment that sneaking out would be worth it to avoid the prince's guards.

The door opened just then, making it not matter. "Ling-sama?" Lan Fan said softly, coming into the room.

"Not quite," Greed said before she could start scolding the prince for being out of bed. The wording made him grin devilishly; if _that_ was the case, he wouldn't have let the prince get up, let alone get up himself. Hey, he might be a good guy technically now, but even that didn't change who he was at the core.

"You!" Lan Fan tensed into a ready battle stance, narrowing her eyes. Surprise, anger, and hatred filled her voice. "What are _you_ doing back? And taking over Ling-sama first thing!"

"Whoa, take it easy, wildcat." Greed held his hands up in mock innocence, his grin widening. Oh, why not? What was the fun of it if he couldn't flirt at least a little with the prince's woman?

"Watch it, Greed," Ling said warningly. He didn't sound all that happy with Greed's idea.

Greed laughed and ignored him. "First off, _for once_, I didn't 'take over' in the literal way. I woke up, and I was in control. End of story. Second, have you forgotten that it's thanks to _me_ that Father was beaten? I want some gratitude here about that one."

"_You want_ everything, Greed," Lan Fan said bluntly, walking to the window and glaring at him. Her eyes shot poison. If looks could kill, Greed would've died again right then. Oh, this was going to be _fun_.

"True," he agreed without a second thought. "But that doesn't mean you can ignore that you wouldn't have beaten Father without my help. And don't forget I saved the prince, too. Face it, sweetheart, you owe me a lot."

Lan Fan stopped. "_What_...did you just call me?"

"Sweetheart," Greed said casually, leaning back against the windowsill and grinning at her. "What, there's something wrong with that?" Lan Fan's eyes widened with fury, and she hit Greed in the face with her palm as hard as she could. "Ow!" Greed swore, stumbling back. "What the h*ll was that for?" he snapped, rubbing his mouth where the heel of her palm had hit.

"_Don't_ try and flirt with me." Lan Fan calmly pulled down on her glove. Her eyes made it clear how ready she was to hit him again if he kept it up.

"Feisty," Greed muttered, letting his hand drop. He grinned at her again. "Good. That always makes it better in the end." Lan Fan furiously kicked him in the gut. "Sheesh! You know the prince is gonna feel that later, don't you?"

"Then I'll tend to _him_," Lan Fan said coldly.

Greed looked at her. "Ouch," he said, referring to her words. "Okay, I get it. I'll drop back in a minute, but first, don't you think we should get out of here? I don't think the rest of Xing will react too well to finding out that their prince has become a homonculus again." _Besides, _he thought, _ruling Xing just isn't enough._ "Not to mention it would probably be best for me to stay out of public eye until we figure out what the h*ll is going on here."

"And where do you get the idea that there is a 'we' in this?"

"Nowhere." Greed stepped onto the windowsill. Holding the side of the window, he shrugged. "Just figured you'd want to keep an eye on the prince. You are his bodyguard officially after all. Don't want anyone to think you're shirking your _duty_, would we?" He grinned, knowing that would convince her, and jumped out, landing on the ground on his feet. "You're welcome," he muttered to Ling.

"For what?" Ling sounded annoyed. Extremely.

Greed grinned. "For convincing her for you. What else?"

"You don't have to _flirt _with her while you're at it!" Annoyance became fury. Good, more fun!

"She's some woman, though. That hasn't changed either." Greed laughed; he could practically feel Ling's anger. "Getting a little defensive, are we? Maybe you'd better make your move on her before someone a little more serious than me does."

"Wh—are you kidding?" Ling went from being furious to embarrassed in less than a second.

"All I'm saying is that you might want to make sure others know that she's your woman," Greed said with a shrug. Ling fumed; just because he'd wished for the professional's advice before didn't mean Greed had to give it by demonstration!

Sure enough, Lan Fan landed on her feet next to Greed. "Let's go," she said, walking forward without so much as glancing at him. "I don't trust you to take care of the Young Lord."

"So you're positive none of the reason you're coming is to keep _me_ safe?" Greed followed her with an almost-mocking grin. "That one hurts even more, wildcat—whoa!" He dodged a punch aimed at his face. "And that punch would've hurt worse than any of them," he muttered.

"Give Ling-sama back control of his body, or I swear I'll do much worse than _punch_ you, Greed."

"All right, all right!" Greed held up his hands innocently. Then he grinned. "Depends on your definition of 'worse'."

He didn't manage to dodge that hit. "Meaning much more painful," Lan Fan said coldly, glaring at him on the ground from her punch.

"Should've known," Greed said enviously. Then he grinned, letting himself fade into the background for now.

"...He means well," Ling said, sitting up slowly. "He just doesn't seem to know how to show it."

"Ling-sama!" Lan Fan knelt next to him. "Are you alright?" She took his arm and helped him get up.

Ling smiled at her. "Isn't this a little backwards? I should be the one helping you to your feet if there was anything typical about us."

Lan Fan glanced down. "It's my duty to protect you. That alone makes it so that nothing will be typical. Not to mention that you're the prince and I'm only one of your many guards."

Ling brushed her cheek with his hand. "Not 'one of many'. That makes it sound like you could be easily replaced. Nothing could ever do that." He hugged her, holding her head against his chest. Lan Fan hesitated, but she wrapped her arms around him, too, tightening her grip. Ling was surprised to feel her shaking. _She was..._scared_...when Greed took over,_ he realized. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen Lan Fan scared. Responsibility took hold of him, and he gently stroked her hair.

"Nobody can be invincible from everything," Greed mused in Ling's mind. "That's what happens when you care about others. You start to worry about them and try to protect them. That's when losing them hurts more than it would if you kept your distance and just treated them like followers."

'This is _your_ fault!' Ling snapped back without saying the words aloud. 'You were the one who took over and scared her!'

"Whoa, hold on, prince boy. I didn't try to 'take over'. And you think I'm stupid enough to try and scare your woman? No way. I know better than that. If you didn't strangle me first, she would. And hey, aren't you supposed to be on my side?"

'No one ever said that.'

"You and her are determined to hurt me, huh?" Greed said, mock offense filling his voice. "All I'm doing is trying to help you, and you turn around and start accusing me. That's a one-sided friendship for you."

'...That wasn't needed.'

"After...how long did you say it was?"

'Four years.'

"Wow. Long time. Anyway, after four years, you're acting pretty weird. How am I supposed to know that it's two-sided?"

'You have an extremely twisted mind, you know that?'

"Yup."

'We're still friends. That being said, stop flirting with Lan Fan!'

"Still defensive. Come on, why can't I have my fun with her first?"

If Ling could've, he would've slapped Greed. 'Don't..._ever_...threaten to do that to Lan Fan again.'

"Better make sure everyone knows you're keeping her to yourself then. Otherwise, who knows what I'll do? Or even worse, what someone else will do? She is some woman, and any guy with some sense would want her for himself. Keep it in mind, prince boy."

Silently fuming, Ling decided it would be best to ignore Greed for the moment. At least until he calmed down a little. He continued stroking Lan Fan's hair. "You know that I could never dream of replacing you," he said, holding her close.

Lan Fan looked up at him. "Ling-sama? What do you think we should do now that...he's back?"

"Well..." Ling hesitantly let her go and put his hands behind his head. "I guess we'll leave for now."

"I told you so," Greed muttered.

"Are you sure?" Lan Fan said.

Ling nodded. "Greed had a point about that. I don't think it would be too popular of an idea if everyone found out that he was back. And we probably do need to figure out what's going on without any of the public eye watching us."

"Figuring out what's going on is a good idea," Greed said 'helpfully'. "After all, we don't want to stay in the dark about it." He suddenly froze. "Hey. Prince boy."

'What is it?' Ling sensed the worry in Greed's voice.

"If I'm back...what about the others?"

* * *

Selim was laying on the bed. He was on his back, but his head was turned to the side. He was tucked under the covers, and an ice pack was behind his head. "It hurts, Mother," the four-year-old whimpered, tears brimming in his eyes.

"Shhh," Mrs. Bradley soothed, holding his hand and brushing hair back from his forehead. She seemed on the verge of tears. "Mother's going to go get you some water. I'll be right back, Selim." She had been kneeling beside the bed, but she got to her feet and ran out of the room.

Selim whimpered again and closed his eyes. The darkness helped a little, but not enough to lessen the pain. It felt like a meteor had exploded in the back of his head. He pulled the covers over his head, but that didn't help much more than closing his eyes. He didn't know what was going on, but he just wanted it to stop. A jolt that felt like a lightning bolt struck the back of his mind, and with a small cry, he passed out.

* * *

**There's chapter 2! So what did you think? Sorry if the end part was kinda confusing (it is to me anyway, but I also haven't finished the series, and my fact checker says it's fine). And yeah, anything in the apostrophe marks (like 'this') is what Ling or Greed is saying to the other when it isn't spoken aloud. Also, yes, it **_**has**_** been four years. Sure took Ling and Lan Fan long enough to start officially dating. :D And guess what homonculi is coming back next? *grin* Anyway, please review!**


	3. Disguises and Old Faces

**Thanks to:**  
_minako25_ - Nope, nothing wrong with it at all! *grins*  
_NotShortEdSized_ - First up, have to say I love your pen name! XD Don't worry, I don't mind if you repeat things! :) I agree, they're the three best characters.  
_Standupsitdown_ - Thanks! *smiles* Hopefully I can keep meeting that potential.  
_a writer of fics_ - Another pen name I love. XD Thanks! I'm glad you like it!  
_Lust1203_ - May~be! *grins* They are super unappreciated! Good thing Greed and Ling have loyal fans ~ like us. :)

**Sorry for taking so long to update this. I've been super busy with my other stories. :( This one's kind of a filler chapter, so that's why it's kind of short compared to last chapter. But I will make the next chapter better, I promise! Anyways, now onto the chapter.**

* * *

Ling glanced at Lan Fan. "Are you alright?" he said, concerned. She was rubbing her automail arm, particularly by her shoulder where the automail connected to her skin. She looked up and started to say she was fine, but Ling put a finger to her lips. "No you're not," he said, a small grin playing at his lips. He glanced up at the sky, which was losing light steadily. "We've been at this for a few hours, give or take. Come on, let's get some food." Holding Lan Fan's hand, Ling started toward a small cafe.

"Hey! Are you paying any attention to me at all?" Greed demanded for about the thousandth time. He'd been silent occasionally, but for the better part of the four hours, he'd been nagging Ling about something or another. Ling ignored him again; the last five times he'd paid attention, Greed had only wanted to know when it would be his turn again, and both of them were tired of the answer 'later'. "Fine," Greed said, annoyed. "Ignore me. Get yourselves caught."

'What?' Ling stopped walking. Concerned, Lan Fan touched his arm, but Ling shook his head, muttering, "Hang on." 'What are you talking about? _Caught_?'

"Not too keen on ignoring me now, huh?" Greed muttered, a bit sulkily. "Look, we have to make it out of Xing without anyone finding out I'm back, don't we?"

'What does that have to do with getting _caught_?'

"Think about it. You're. The. Prince. Going in there like it happens every day isn't gonna help with the whole 'getting out subtly' idea. People are going to make a big fuss if the prince walks in the door, and they're gonna get curious about why you're out here. By the time we manage to get out, all of Xing will know you and Lan Fan are on this little road trip. Not only will that encourage rumors I'm sure you don't want running around-"

'Will you stop that kind of talk?'

"-but it's also going to blow the _subtle_ part. You and Lan Fan can't just go inside acting like it's nothing."

'Then what do _you_ say we do? We can't just sit out and starve.'

Greed's grin was something to be cautious of. "Let me in control."

'For what?'

"For this. Come on, don't tell me you don't trust me anymore. It's not dangerous or anything, so you don't have anything to worry about."

'...'

"_Come on!_ Just trust me!"

'...All right. But just for this!' Ling sighed and looked up at Lan Fan. He straightened, not having noticed he'd been kneeling. "Greed's going to be in control for a little while, all right? He has a way to get us the food without being seen."

Loathing filled Lan Fan's eyes, but she nodded. "Ling-sama?"

"Yes?"

Lan Fan hesitated. "...Never mind." She let go of his hand and closed her eyes, bracing herself for the switch. Ling smiled and brushed his hand against her face before giving up control.

Greed glanced at Lan Fan. "You can open your eyes, you know. It's not like I'm dumb enough to try and hurt you or anything."

"Unlike _you_, Greed, Ling-sama is my friend. Seeing him give up control to _you_ isn't something I enjoy." Poison filled Lan Fan's glare.

"Ouch again. You sure you're just friends?" Greed said, crouching down and brushing his hand against the ground, examining how much dust and dirt got on his hand. _Yeah, that should be enough..._

"Enough for what?" Ling said cautiously.

Greed glanced up. 'Oh yeah. You can hear some of my thoughts. Forgot about that part.'

"That's none of your business," Lan Fan said.

"Course not." Greed pushed his sleeve up, wiping the dirt on his arm at the same time. "Man, are you humans slow, though..."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lan Fan and Ling demanded at the same time.

'Stereo.' Greed grinned. "You say you're only friends? Four years and you aren't lying about that...you can't deny that that's slow."

"Just because _you_ think so doesn't mean it is," Lan Fan said with a glare.

Greed shrugged disbelievingly, smearing some of the dirt on his face. "Quit standing around. If you're going inside, it isn't looking like that. You have to get dirty, too."

"That had better not have a double meaning," Lan Fan said warningly, crouching down, taking a handful of dirt, and brushing it on her sleeve.

"Depends. Should it?" Greed said with a grin. Catching Lan Fan's warning look and Ling's facepalm, he held up a hand innocently. "All right, no double meaning. Referring purely to actual dirt." He smeared some on his pant leg. "Done. Just waiting on you."

"I thought you had a way to get us in without being seen." Lan Fan finished and stood.

Greed shook his head. "The prince said that, not me. I'm not magic. I have a way to get the food without any of us getting sent back to the palace. Course there's always thieving,"-Lan Fan rolled her eyes-"but this way's more interesting." He caught a glimpse of their reflection in a window and nodded approvingly, sure that no one would recognize them now.

"So what way is this?" Lan Fan said suspiciously.

"What do you think?" Greed motioned to their reflection. "Do _you_ think anyone will know who you are seeing you like this?"

"...Probably not." Lan Fan looked away. It was clear how much she hated agreeing with him.

Greed flashed a grin at her, earning himself another glare. He shrugged innocently and started walking. "C'mon, let's go. Otherwise the prince is going to start whining about being _starving_ again." He caught Ling's smile. 'You might have grown out of some of it, but you still will if we wait too much longer. I'm pretty sure I know you well enough to know that much.'

"No one said you didn't," Ling replied while Lan Fan followed him.

'Glad to know it hasn't changed in four years.' Greed pushed open the door to the small tavern. He and Lan Fan both froze when they looked inside. "I know that's her...but..." Greed muttered to her.

"That's him," Lan Fan said quietly.

Greed swore under his breath. _So _that's_ what he actually looks like._ "We need to get out of here before-"

"Hm?" The boy sitting at the table looked up, and his face broke into a wide smile when he saw them. Greed swore again and turned away, grabbing Lan Fan's wrist and starting to pull her away.

"Hey, wait!" The girl got up and ran after them with the boy right behind her. Greed yanked Lan Fan out to the area they'd been before with the other two racing after them. "Why were you running out of there?" the girl asked. Greed looked at Lan Fan to reply, sure that if he did, they'd recognize his voice.

"We're trying to get out of Xing without notice," Lan Fan said quietly.

"Why?" the boy said.

"..." Lan Fan shot a look at Greed. The homonculus sighed and nodded. "Because we have a slight...return...issue," Lan Fan said.

"Return?" the girl repeated, confused.

"No welcome back for me?" Greed put his hands in his pockets and looked at them.

Alphonse and Mei both stared at him. "_Greed?_"

* * *

**Haha, cliffhanger-ish ending again! :D Anyways, please review! I'll try not to take so long with the next chapter as I did with this one. But reviews definitely inspire me to write more, so pretty please review? Thanks!**


End file.
